I like you.
You are very smart and do a lot of things to make my life easier.
Yesterday, you did not.
As you know, Kelly’s had a very big project at work and I’ve been invested in getting our school year started. We’ve been like two ships passing in the night and have had to catch up via email and quick conversations in whatever pockets of time we can find them.
Last night he was had a late meeting that would keep him at work until after I needed to leave for my own meeting on the other side of town. As I was driving on the H3, I saw emergency vehicles on the lanes moving in the opposite direction and the traffic was backed up as for miles. Since I knew this was the route Kelly usually travels home, I wanted to make him aware so he could use an alternate route home, like the Likelike or Pali Highway.
I didn’t have anywhere I could safely pull to the side of the road and since I don’t text and drive, I thought maybe you, my good friend Siri, could shoot Kelly an email at work. He always checks his email before he leaves the office so I felt fairly certain he’d get the message.
This is what I asked you to put in an email message to Kelly:
SUBJECT: Wreck on H3
MESSAGE: That was supposed to say wreck on H3. Siri can’t spell. You may want to check the news or take the Pali. As of ten after five H3 was very blocked. 143.
This is what you sent him:
When Kelly read it, he initially thought I’d taken up drinking, but soon realized you’d simply misunderstood what I asked you to say.
Once I hit the H1, traffic wasn’t going much better for me. I was concerned I might be late for the meeting so I asked you to tell one of my friends who was attending the meeting so she could let the meeting moderator know in case I didn’t show up on time.
This is the conversation you created:
Now, maybe you truly misunderstood what I was saying. I am from the South. I have an accent. Lots of people don’t understand what I’m saying. I should probably be accompanied by an interpreter at all times. To compound matters, I’m now a Southerner who lives in Hawaii. We have some unusual names here. Your friend the GPS slaughters all of the street names on a regular basis, and I’ll admit, we’ve laughed at her. So I can’t help but wonder if you’re getting back at me for making fun of your friend. Because seriously, Siri? H1. It’s a letter and a number. I didn’t ask you to text Kamehameha or Kalanianaole. I think you’re just messing with me.
But just in case after all our time together you still can’t understand me, here’s what I’d like for you to do. Next time you talk to your friends at Apple, ask them to consider creating other versions of you for different dialects and regions. While they’re at it, maybe they could create some cool new voices for you. I’d like to put in a request for a George Clooney Siri voice.
In the meantime, we’ll just have to keep muddling through together. In case I haven’t told you lately, thank you for everything you do for me. I’ll try to do a better job of enunciating for you if you’ll try to learn some Hawaiian road names for me.
Your friend (and owner),