The Post Where I Talk About Seemingly Unrelated Things But Attempt to Construct Segues That Appear To Tie Subjects Neatly Together

Sometimes when I hear a word, I picture the way it’s spelled in my mind. I do this a lot with homophones. The other day I was saying something “piqued” my interest and in my head I saw p-i-q-u-e. I also do it with words I have trouble spelling like “sacrilegious.” I’ve always thought it should be spelled with the word “religious” in it, like “sacrilegious.” Since I have to think about how it’s really spelled, my brain pictures it whenever I hear it. I remember my mom teaching me how to spell the world “vacuum,” and now whenever I hear it, my brain sees v-a-c, two “u’s” and an m.  Today I discovered I also picture easily recognizable logos when they’re mentioned. A friend said something on Facebook about Sunbeam bread and all I could think of was a bright yellow bread wrapper and this little girl:

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I found that picture on Sunbeam’s website, by the way.

(Segue alert.)

SPEAKING OF BREAD, the reason my friend and I were discussing Sunbeam bread on Facebook was because I had posted this picture of my lunch:

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I posted it because my friend Chris had posted a picture of his tomato sandwich a few days back and I’ve been able to think of nothing else since. We were at Costco this weekend and they had a flat of beautiful beefsteak tomatoes so I bought them and having been planning my lunch ever since. Today was the day! Normally, I’d insist on Duke’s mayonnaise because I’m a card-carrying Southern girl and that’s what we insist on having in the refrigerator. But I’m a long way from a store that sells Duke’s and here on my island, many people insist Best Foods mayonnaise must be in the refrigerator. So, when in Rome, or on my island…

After I posted the picture, friends wanted to know what the green stuff is.  The green stuff in my sweet tea is mint. The green stuff on my sandwich is sea asparagus from Kahuku. It adds a salty crunch.  One of my favorite things about moving is finding new foods to try and this has become a new favorite.

(Segue alert.) ANOTHER FOOD FAVORITE THAT I DISCOVERED LAST YEAR is back in my grocery store!

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Have you tried Envy apples? They’re crisp, juicy, and super sweet and last year they replaced the Honeycrisp as my favorite apple. But for if for any reason Envy cannot fulfill its reign as Favorite Apple, the first runner-up, HoneyCrisp will take over (or whenever Envy’s season is over, whichever comes first).

(Segue alert.) I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BY THE PICTURES, BUT I ATE MY SANDWICH AT MY DESK TODAY BECAUSE I SPENT ALL MORNING LONG TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO OPEN MY EMAIL FROM MY COMPUTER. (That one was not nearly as smooth.)

This was my Facebook status earlier today:

I’ve spent all the live long morning trying to access my mail on iCloud from my computer so I can send out some emails. I can access it on my iPhone but not my computer and I really need to send some emails. I don’t want to type them with my thumbs. I’ve cleared caches, used different browsers, blah, blah, blah.

When my Apple products are working, they are intuitive and so user-friendly. When something goes awry, I feel like I can’t get help because I don’t speak Elvish or Parseltongue, or Klingon or Wookie. Or Genius Bar.

My friends shared helpful suggestions and sympathetic encouragement. Some could relate. I’m still laughing at my friend Meredith who spent her morning at the Genius Bar trying not to, as she put it, iCurse. Eventually I fixed it, but I couldn’t tell you what I did to make it work.

( Two-Part Segue alert. Here comes Part One.) WHILE I WAS DOWNLOADING POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS AND WAITING FOR THINGS TO LOAD, I SCANNED PINTEREST LOOKING FOR SUPPER IDEAS.  I’m trying to have some ideas ready for those nights after school starts when I’m too busy or tired to start from scratch. And as everyone knows all the best ideas ever are on Pinterest. Right?

(Segue alert. Part Two.) ALTHOUGH I’M NOT SO SURE ABOUT A PINTEREST IDEA I TRIED LAST NIGHT.

You’ve all seen the Listerine foot soak idea, haven’t you? If you haven’t,  several pinners recommend a foot soak of hot water, Listerine, and vinegar. “You have to try it!” they said. “Your feet will be baby soft!” they said. “The dead skin will rub off in sheets!” is disgusting, but it’s what they said.

This was not the experience I had. I researched the pins to see if anyone had any words of wisdom before I gave this experiment a try. It seemed this pin receives mixed reviews but enough people claimed it was as good as “they” had said, so I decided to go for it. I used the gold-colored Listerine instead of the blue because I read the blue stains your feet. I’m not much of a Smurf fan, so I opted for gold. I had also read that apple cider vinegar was more effective than regular so I used that.

I soaked for well beyond the recommended time because I’d read the longer you soaked the better, but I really didn’t notice a big difference. Well, I have noticed every now and then I smell something that can best be described as a minty pickle and realize the smell is coming from my feet, but other than that, I’m underwhelmed. So don’t believe everything you read on Pinterest, kids.

(Last segue, alert, thank goodness!) SPEAKING OF READING, I TRULY AM THANKFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO TAKE THE TIME TO STOP AND READ WHATEVER WORDS I’VE THROWN TOGETHER. The world is full of words these days and you could be doing many other things with the minutes you spend here, but for whatever reason, you chose to be here. And for that, I thank you.

AND, SCENE.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “The Post Where I Talk About Seemingly Unrelated Things But Attempt to Construct Segues That Appear To Tie Subjects Neatly Together

  1. nwhannas

    So fun to see you writing again. Love, love, love.

    placebo. Hate that one.

  2. I love word pictures. That’s how my husband teached spelling to our kids. And who can spell ‘respect’ with singing with Aretha?!

  3. Nora

    Really glad to know about the listerine foot soak…I was close to trying it out!

  4. linda phillips

    Can’t imagine your feet being “seasoned” enough to warrant a treatment that would actually result in your skin shedding onto your bedsheets. ……….Amy!!!!!!!

  5. Girl, I see words in my head ALL the time. Probably logos too. I’ll have to pay attention to that.
    I’m glad you tried the Listerine thing so that now I won’t have to. WHO comes up ideas like soaking feet in mouthwash?
    I think YOU should apply for a Genius Bar position since it took you as long as it took the actual “genius” to fix my phone. And you probably didn’t lose any of your data like I did!

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