I’ve started three different posts on three different subjects but my thoughts are just in big knots tonight and I can’t untangle the mess. A sweet friend sent me a one-sentence email Monday that said “Let’s take a few days and go hide somewhere and read, write, talk, cry . . .” And I’d add “laugh until we can’t breathe and eat fun food.” She and I had a chance to eat lunch yesterday and on the way home I realized that during our time together I’d said a lot of things that were just raw, unprocessed, incomplete thoughts. Some of them probably should have baked a little longer before I’d offered them for public consumption. Thankfully, I think/hope/pray she’s a friend who takes what I say with a heavy helping of salt.
I’m not in the dumps. I’m not in a bad place at all. Just a little thinky, I guess. I just think somehow I’ve let life get away from me and I haven’t had taken time to just be still and think a thought all the way through to its completion. I need to take some time. Time to wrestle with some questions that keep surfacing in my thoughts. To look up some verses in the Bible and study them word by word. To be still and listen. To daydream. To do inventory. To set goals. To be still and think of nothing at all. To take all the time we need to deeply communicate heart stuff with a friend. To laugh so much and so loud and so hard that we forget why we started laughing in the first place. To cry the kind of cry that makes my heart and soul feel freshly washed and clean when I’m finished, like a deep, cleansing breath. To write down some of the thoughts that keep floating in my brain and that bump into other thoughts. To intercede in prayer for and with a friend. To have an uninterrupted conversation with my Father. To think about my earthly dad. To read wise things much wiser people have written.
Is it just me or do you ever feel like that, too? If or when you do, what do you do about it? Have you ever had a time like the one I’m describing? If you’ve found a home for your thinky place, tell us how you did it. Do you plan regular times away? Do you have an agenda for those times or do you just let the time arrange itself? Do you get away by yourself or with others? How do you negotiate time away from your kids? Do you feel guilty for taking time-for-me retreats? Talk to me, friends.