Silly Reindeer Games

I didn’t really want to tell this story. But this is Ralph’s Favorite Stories week at Snoodlings and I’d already vetoed one of his choices. Plus, I told Carpoolqueen I’d tell this story as a sign of solidarity and support for the tough choice she had to make at her dental appointment yesterday.

A couple of weeks ago, I was upstairs getting ready for the day when I remembered that the garbage collectors would be coming very soon to pick up our trash. Simultaneously I remembered that K and I had cleaned out my minivan the previous evening and since then, I hadn’t seen the Starbucks gift card that had been sitting in my van’s console. These two facts go together because my husband employs the scoop method of household maintenance. When he was single and did his own laundry, he’d scoop up a pile of dirty clothes and throw them in the washing machine, regardless of the colors or make of the clothing. When I married him, he didn’t have any white clothing, only khaki. When he is dealing with paper clutter and he sees that the paper on top is trash, he is likely to scoop up the whole pile and throw it away. He threw away three debit cards in the first three months that we were married. I’m not judging him. He is probably the only reason we haven’t been featured in an episode of “Hoarders”…..yet.

So as I’m remembering that the trash guys are coming I get a mental image of K scooping up trash from the car and wondered if my Starbucks card had mistakenly found its way into the scoop. I ran downstairs in my hot pink fuzzy pajama pants, threw on the red polar fleece I had hanging in the coat closet, and hurried to the dumpsters in the back yard. It was a Starbucks gift card! Plastic gold!

I live on a military base. My neighbors and I share a long driveway behind our houses so my backyard opens into the backyards of several other families. As I was digging through our trash, I became uncomfortably aware that I was not alone in the back common area. Maintenance crews were working on a water main two doors down from me. It was mid-morning and the neighborhood was bustling with activity.  And I was rummaging through the trash can wearing crazy people clothes…and a headband.

I had forgotten all about the headband.

My daughter has a headband addiction. She probably has 75 headbands that she keeps scattered throughout our house.  I can almost always find one in my bathroom and sometimes I’ll slip one on while I’m putting on my makeup to keep my hair out of my face. I just grab the closest headband I can find and the one I’d found that morning just happened to be a Christmas one. But not just any Christmas headband. No, this is the headband I was wearing that morning:

In broad daylight.

With mismatched pajamas.

While I dug through the garbage.

And I didn’t find the gift card.

So, google me. Maybe someone was quick enough to take a cellphone picture and post it in his or her blog. Entertaining the neighbors….Just another service I’m happy to provide for my neighborhood.

And thus concludes Ralph’s Favorite Stories week.  It’s been real, it’s been fun, but it hasn’t been real fun. Just so that no one can say I didn’t write anything of substance all week, I’m posting the chicken and dumplings recipe that I was talking about on Twitter last night. It’s real, it’s good and it’s really good. I’ll also be back at some point this weekend with another book review and an update on my Bible reading plan. Plan your schedule accordingly. Until then, enjoy your Friday!



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22 responses to “Silly Reindeer Games

  1. carpoolqueen

    Thank you for not leaving me there alone in the dentist’s office.

    Though you seriously owe me for losing cool points with the very cute dentist.

  2. cracking up. love the way you tell stories. seriously.

  3. Love it!
    Have a great weekend.

  4. Good thing they didn’t call the cops on you! Ha! I love it.

    I totally would have dug through the trash (antlers or no antlers) to find a SB card.

  5. I definitely would have dug through the trash, and I will admit that I have done that a few times. 🙂 I wish someone HAD taken a picture. It would’ve been priceless.

  6. Seriously that is hilarious. For realz.

  7. My fave story. Because you make me realize I’m not alone in this world.

    Bless you, child. Bless you.

  8. Ralph

    See….I told you it was funny! Such a great story.

    The visual still makes me laugh…though I really do not see it as being that out of the ordinary…

    I, for one, think Ralph week has been an extraordinary success.

  9. I would pay for that picture!


    Oh no, wait. It’s not you.


  11. I, Candace Chaney, have not sorted laundry in years. And it works surprisingly well. Every now and then- if I have something new and red- I’ll wash that separately. I figure life’s too short to spend it sorting laundry. Thought I’d share.

    Also- the thought of you in your pj’s with that awesome headband while sorting through trash is pretty fabulous. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Laughing out loud! Too funny, friend!

  13. Laughed out loud over that one! 🙂

  14. Alex

    If you REALLY loved us, you would stage a historical reenactment and have one of your photography friends shoot it.

  15. HAHAHAHAH!!!

    You are such a great story-teller. I would have paid actual money to see that!

  16. you just made my snowed-in sunday. hilarious story and great writing!

  17. Ok, thank you very much….that made my day! You are too cute. I truly hope that I have a new neighbor like you….reindeer headband and all. This proves, you can’t just a gal by her headband.

  18. linda

    OK, I didn’t think anyone could beat me in the crazy mom arena…but I think you just did.

    The only differences between your story and mine are…..I threw my own debit cards out…….several times…….. with no one but myself to blame. However I must say, while rummaging through the garbage I was always well dressed.

  19. This is such a great mental picture. I don’t need a cell phone snapshot! 🙂

  20. Oh my gosh. I’m embarrassed for you, dear. Good thing you didn’t venture into Walmart in that get up or you’d FOR SURE have found yourself on that funny website.

    I think I need to contribute to the Whimz needs a new Starbucks gc.

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