The Post in Which I Try to Think of Nice Ways to Talk About…..Upchucking

Last night I was feeling sorry for CarpoolQueen. All three of her children were suffering from GI distress of some variety. She and I were having a little chat about our respective days and I was so sad to hear that two of her boys were… “tossing cookies” while the other was….sick, but in a different way than the one I just mentioned. And now I’m going to tell you what I was also thinking. I was thinking that I was glad my kids don’t…. “share their inner feelings” all that often. I can count on one hand the number of times they have…. “technicolor yawned.” I may have, in fact, been feeling a little smug about the situation.


The freshly bathed and teeth-brushed children had said their prayers and were preparing to snuggle into their beds when all of a sudden my baby boy told me that his stomach was hurting.  We tucked him in and told him we’d keep checking on him only to hear him… “calling  Ralph” just minutes later. At first I thought it was an isolated event. I made Paula Deen’s Monte Cristo sandwiches for supper last night (from the November/December issue of What’s Cookin’ with Paula Deen). Everyone loved them, but they were also very rich. Who would expect that from a Paula Deen recipe, right? I thought maybe the meal had been a little much for my baby boy’s tummy.

To be safe, we sent his big brother to sleep in our bed with his dad (the boys share a room) and I bedded down with the one with the sad tummy. All was well and I thought we were out of the woods until forty-five minutes later when Little B was…. “tossing his cookies.” A couple of hours he was … “throwing it in reverse” again.  He…. “made a call on the porcelain phone” two or three more times through out the night/early, early, no-0ne-should-be-awake-at-this-hour morning, I lost count. I’m guessing this wasn’t a one-time event?

So now I have wiped that smug look off my face and replaced it with a tired, haggard been-there-done-that-last-night look. It’s lovely. I wish you could see it. At least my children have an uncanny ability to always make it to the bathroom. It’s a gift and a blessing to their mom, I tell you. And now I’m hoping I didn’t just jinx myself into cleaning carpet all day.

Hope you and yours are healthy today and I hope that the reading of this  post didn’t make any of you…. “have an out of stomach experience.” We’ll keep the Lysol handy for you.



Filed under Kids

21 responses to “The Post in Which I Try to Think of Nice Ways to Talk About…..Upchucking

  1. Do you have a Vomit Thesaurus by your bed or something?? Wish I’d have known about all these phrases two weeks ago!!

    I’m sooooo sorry he’s sick. BELIEVE ME, I know your pain, and I can still feel it acutely.

    Love you! Praying for your sweet fam!

    p.s. I replied to your comment on my blog, but seeing as I don’t have the “reply” function enabled, you’ll probably never read it.

  2. ew.ew.ew.

    seriously. we are all sharing computer germs.

    it’s actually rampant in GA for non-computer-ers too!

    Hope it only sticks with one of y’all…it’d be awful to have to put the porcelain phone on hold b/c another caller is “beeping” in…

    Hang in there. Thinking of y’all!

  3. *praising God for kids who make it to the potty, too*

    (clever post)

  4. I’m so sorry you and Sus are both going thru this. UGH! There is nothing I hate more than “tossing my cookies”. Well, truthfully, I hate it more when it’s my kiddos who are tossing theirs.

    I hope he rebounds quickly and keeps his germs to himself.

    Sending some virtual Lysol your way.

    Love you, Amy!

  5. carpoolqueen

    We worshipped at the porcelain throne all night long.

  6. I remember when my healthy child threw up for the first time. She was six and it scared her to death. She decided that was not for her and has been tummy healthy ever since. I wish the other two would/could make the same decision. I’ve got one who actively seeks me out (instead of a bathroom) before throwing up. You gotta love that in the middle of the night.

  7. Technicolor yawning.

    All too familiar around these parts. Blech. Hope your crew gets better soon and stays off your carpets.

  8. It seems to be flying around our area too. I’m keeping the doors/windows shut hoping it will fly away from our house. Yuck.

    Hope there is no upchucking today!!

  9. Joy R. Hanley

    LOL! Believe me when I tell you, be “VERY” thankful that they make it to the bathroom! Lauren will sit straight up in the bed and render something very close to a scene from the Exorcist! All but the spinning head!! I save that part for myself in the clean-up efforts! As you know I am alone in that effort for sure!! 🙂 Hope you’re all feeling better soon! Love to you all! 🙂

  10. I really like your site!!! I hope you all get healthy soon. Thank you so much for entering the Get Clean Giveaway on the Thick Decor Chick blog. I am sorry that you did not win. If you have any questions about my products please feel free to call me at 630-262-1007 or go to my website

  11. Marie

    OH NO!!! I am so sorry for you and poor CPQ…and oh how I hope it doesn’t hit us anytime soon. By the way, I had never heard of some of your euphemisms, but “calling Ralph” is really close to our personal favorite of “calling the dinosaurs”. Hope all is well with you guys soon.

  12. oh but I was totally impressed by all your synonyms . . . and the making it to the bathroom thing is oh-so-important.

    Hope everyone is all better soon!! 🙂

  13. lydia harrigan

    we’ve had to stomach virus so many times in our house that both my kids make to to the toilet! it’s ridiculous, but largely helpful in the case of any event. . . so sorry! our prayers are with you guys-

  14. Whimz – you make me laugh. I’m not sure I even want to know where you came up with some of those names. I am being extra careful to not jinx myself, so I will end my comment before I am forced to suffer a non-restful night of sleep -because heaven knows that the sight of my kid’s uncleaned bathroom is enough to make some people make an offering to the porcelain gods.

  15. Ralph

    Wow, you mentioned me twice in the same week. Thanks….ummm…really, thanks.

    PS – … still sticking with protein explosion…just sayin’.

  16. Impressive amount of euphemisms, my friend. 🙂

    Jack has gotten on… and successfully off… the puke train in the past day or so.

    I’m praying that no other Chaney boards that one.

    I hope no one else in your family does, either.

    Stomach bugs are the worst.

  17. It’s so good to hear your sense of humor. It’s the best. And I now know far more than I ever wanted to about barf.

  18. That was me last week. I prefer the euphemism “calling Ralph and Earl”. And they were called many, many times.

  19. Worshiping the porcelain goddess. Oh, that’s right. No false idols. Darn.

    Hope everyone is on the mend. It’s sure no fun where you’re at.

  20. Pingback: Family Secrets Revealed….#6A: The One About How I Earned My Ouachita Players Nicknames « Snoodlings

  21. Pingback: WHAT’S IN THE BIBLE? Week: Technicolor Yawn Difficulties « Snoodlings

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