Words and Music

I’m not sure how long it has been since I blogged. My email inbox is overflowing. My Google Reader is full of blogs I haven’t read. I haven’t been regularly keeping up with most of my Tweeps’ conversations on Twitter. I don’t return all of my friends’ phone calls or texts. I really need and want to respond to many of your words, but I just can’t right now.

Honestly, it’s all I can do to do what I have to do every day. I’m trying to be the mom, wife, daughter, and sister I need to be and I feel like at the end of the day, I have nothing left to be the friend I want to be. I’m also wary of saying too much at times and coming across as ungrateful when I really know how very blessed I am. By the time I’ve weighed all the words I need to use to write the minimum amount for my dad’s CaringBridge updates, I don’t have many words or minutes left to write anywhere else.

My dad isn’t doing very well. Either this is like the story in the Old Testament where Elijah poured buckets and buckets of water on the altar so that when God called down fire no one would doubt that it was anything other than a miracle from His hands or my earthly daddy is going to be with my heavenly One.

So this is what it’s like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I’ve been on the edges of the valley before with friends and family members but I’ve never walked through this particular part. It’s a dark and ugly place. Although I can hear and sometimes even feel friends encouraging me from just outside the valley, this is a road everyone ends up walking alone.

Well, that’s not right. I’m not alone. Even in the darkest, ugliest parts, I know that God is with me. If I didn’t, I couldn’t do this.

Before he resigned as the minister of music to take over our church’s pastoral care ministry, my dad led our church in worship every week. He was a worship leader before “praise and worship” was cool. Although, unlike many erroneously have believed, my family didn’t sit around the table singing hymns before dinner or practice four-part harmonies like the Von Trapp Family, music is a big part of each of our lives.

Along with my love of music, I’m a “word girl.” I love a well-constructed phrase or a sentence that speaks paragraphs. I like to say words, read words, think them…

So when beautiful music marries the right words, I always want to be invited to the reception. I could type word after word after word today but I’m not sure I’d say a whole lot worth reading. Instead I’m going to post a video of a song that makes my heart say “Amen” right now.

I’m not sure there’s anyone left who even bothers to check if I’ve posted anymore. That’s okay. I started this blog almost exactly one year ago (November 13th, in fact) because Sus had decided to blog and I thought it sounded like fun. I had no idea what I was doing and I still don’t. I certainly didn’t expect to make friends who have turned into sisters. I don’t think it would be overly dramatic to say that this little blog has changed my life, because you, my friends, have changed my life. I am better because I know you. But my focus for the blog has changed, I think. I used to obsessively check my stat counters to see how many people were reading and get excited about how many comments I received, but that just doesn’t seem very important anymore. My reality can be boiled down to one simple fact: All that really matters in life is faith, family, and friends. I’m overabundantly blessed with all three.

So if you’re here and you need to be encouraged with me today, I hope that this song speaks comfort to you, too. Please don’t feel like you have to leave a comment or struggle with what to say to me. It’s okay. I know what you mean and appreciate it greatly.

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27 Comments

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27 responses to “Words and Music

  1. rmarch979

    Oh Amy,
    Praying, praying, praying…

    Rebecca Marchbanks

  2. Oh Amy.

    I have no words today. Only the promise that I am constantly lifting you and your dear family up to the Father.

    I discovered an old hymn this fall that I think you would like. (You know me and my music suggestions). It is Children of the Heavenly Father. I downloaded an arrangement by Plumb but just google the words. It’s beautiful.

    And so was that song you posted. Very, very fitting.

    Praying…

  3. Oh, that my arms were long enough to embrace you where you are! You know I’m already praying for you. Know that I will continue praying with you and longing for God to reveal Himself and His wisdom in awesome, undeniable ways.

    Great song. I’d not heard it before. Thank you for sharing it. It’s so perfect for times like these.

    Love and prayers …

  4. Beautiful song. I so know what you are going through(my Dad has been in Heaven for 2 years now) and I also know there is nothing anyone can say to ease the pain, but that it does help to know that you are prayed for.

    Prayers ~

  5. Hi. I’ve been lurking for a while now. Actually, your posts have been so meaningful to me that I’ve gone back and read your entire archive. I promise I’m not a weirdo. Or at least I’m not any more weird than your average commenter.
    Anyway … I just needed to tell you that your snoodlings have been an inspiration to me. Your relationship with and dependence on our heavenly Father have made me miss Him and caused me to dive back into the Word. I can’t thank you enough.
    I cannot imagine the valley you and family are passing through, but I can pray for you all. God is there. Look for Him.

  6. You are so beautiful. Grace under fire.

    Sometimes it seems like the valley of the shadow of death never ends. But it will.

    Take heart, sister. You are dearly loved.

  7. Oh please know that I am praying for you.

  8. Sorry, Whimz…all I have right now is tears in my eyes…nothing witty or amazing,even though words are fun for me, too. Love you, my sister. xxooo

  9. Do you know….I was just running some errands by myself and I kept thinking of YOU! You’ve been in my thoughts a lot….and my prayers too.

    Blog when you want….you are so right about realizing what is important. I’m there with you. I’m going to keep checking in on you …and of course, I’ll keep praying.

  10. Deena

    Praying for you!

    What a great song! I’m glad you are allowing God to use music to whisper sweetly into your hurting heart.

  11. I popped over to leave you a comment of encouragement, without realizing you had just posted today. My reader had not sent me a feed yet, so I was pleasantly surprised to find your newest words. How can a woman, who is going through so very much heartache, write such beauty. Beauty in the ashes, is what I think.
    I am praying for you, dear sister. I don’t have the eloquent words. Just simply: I care. I am praying. You are loved.

  12. My Sweet SnoodleGirl,

    There are MANY times a day/week that the Lord impresses you on my heart and mind and I’m so thankful that this world wide web afforded us the opportunity to love on each other.

    You do what you have to do, honey, b/c you must deal w/ this situation as it is..not as you would have it be…my fave quote these days.

    Love you much.

  13. Lydia Stevenson

    Praying for you sweetie, I can’t tell you how many times God has impressed on me to pray for you the last few days, and I will continue to do so. You and your family are loved.

  14. I’m praying for you and your family.

  15. Kristin

    Sweet Amy, thinking of you and your amazing family this day. Your Dad had an impact on me and helped me find a home at our church. He is an incredible father who loves you so much. Before I had the opportunity to meet you, I would watch your Dad talk about his Amy during rehearsal…his eyes sparkled and his heart danced….. I will pray for you every chance I get today and many days forward. I am blessed to call you a friend….
    km

  16. there is such a beauty in seeing Christ in one of His girls… even in the valley.

    this post made me cry, smile, pray, nod in complete understanding, nod in ‘i can’t even imagine’-ment, and praise God.

    xo

  17. Oh, Amy. Don’t worry about the everyday stuff. It’s not important right now. You do what you need to survive. And you will come out the other side of this a changed person. A better person. That still doesn’t make it worth it, I know. But it’s something. Which is better than nothing. I’m praying that God will give you and your family the strength and grace that you need each day. And I’m praying that you can feel His arms around you.

  18. Oh..such a beautiful song….praying for you..that God sheds his grace upon you~
    sandy toe

  19. Sandy M.

    I think the Holy Spirit has been busy over on this little plot where New Every AM & I live: I’ve been praying for you this week & decided I just needed to leave you a note to tell you I have… & as I scrolled down the comments, see that my dear daughter did the same thing yesterday. We talked today, but she didn’t mention it at all. I could just ditto what she said. Your words were so touching & encouraged me to keep praying for you & your family. It is such a dark & lonely path to walk down, & can be so heartbreaking. But our Father knows our hearts & only He can truly comfort us. Just know that we are praying & that we would love to give you hugs.

  20. Love you, dear friend…and praying.

  21. Praying for you, sweet Whimzie. Asking God to hold you tight. I can’t even imagine how hard this is. It hurts just thinking about it, and I’m not even living it. Love you!

  22. Sending my love……praying for extra grace and energy over the next few days.
    Teresa

  23. Runrgirl

    Praying for you.

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