It’s Not Brain Surgery…Except When It Really Is

In a few short hours I’ll be getting ready to leave for the hospital. I will hopefully remember to take my backpack with all the stuff I might need. I’ll have books I probably won’t be able to read, a jacket to keep me warm in that meat locker they call a waiting room, change for Cokes to settle my stomach, and my iPhone so I can try to stay connected with the outside world.  I’ll try to Tweet updates when I can.

My dad’s surgery is the first case of the day. We have to be there at 6 a.m. and his surgery is scheduled for 7 a.m. Mostly we’ll spend the day sitting and waiting. I’ve come to believe that sitting and waiting may be the most physically exhausting thing I’ve ever done. Strange.

This is probably more than anyone needs to know, but for the last two days food has made my stomach angry. I know that I won’t be able to eat today either. I’m anxious and calm at the same time. I’m a peaceful wreck. I’m not sure I could even explain what I mean by that except that I know that God is in control. I trust Him. I also know that sometimes what I want Him to do is not what He needs to do and I don’t know what He needs to do. I don’t know what’s around this curve for my family.

I feel a little raw right now. Like a huge, gaping, exposed wound.

I’ll see my dad  before the surgery team takes him and I’ll try really hard not to cry.

I’ll try.

From 7 a.m. until 7 p.m. the chapel at the church where my dad has been a minister for twenty-four years will be open for whomever wants to come and pray.

My daddy walked me down the center aisle of that chapel thirteen years ago on the day I married K.

The first drama I ever wrote was performed in that chapel.  The only reason it was ever written was because my daddy believed I could do things that I still don’t think I can do.

I know that church and its people. Those who can will be on their faces before God in that chapel asking Him to show up in big and mighty ways in my dad’s life.

Thy will be done….but if we can be so bold to ask, please heal Him, Father.

A request to my heavenly daddy on behalf of my earthly one.

I’ve received sweet emails and texts from precious friends who are praying for my family and for me. I have precious friends who have planned to take care of my children after school. I have precious friends who want to walk as closely on this road with me as they can. They know they can’t walk the road for me, but they’re walking beside me on the sidelines holding my hand. I love them all so much. The ones who are actually physically holding my hand, and the ones who are holding me in their hearts and prayers from miles away.

Here we go again.

God, be near.

I know You are. I just like to feel Your touch here in the dark.



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21 responses to “It’s Not Brain Surgery…Except When It Really Is

  1. Praying for your dad and your family.

  2. Praying peace. And healing. And miracles. And wisdom. And comfort. And strength.

  3. Love you, friend. I know you know, but we’ll be praying for ya’ll today.

  4. Just wanted you to know I’m praying for you and your family today!

  5. Deena

    I love you, my sweet friend! I’m praying for all of you today.

  6. Praying God heals your daddy. Will be talking to Him about all of you all day!

  7. Ah, sweet girl, I am praying. Right now.

  8. I’m praying God pours peace over all of you every second of today.

  9. My friend recently wrote these words on her blog and I have found such encouragement in them :

    “In a beautifully timed word from God today, I read the following verse of encouragement: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14). Life-giving words, and as I mentioned in my last post, waiting is certainly something the Lord is teaching me. But it was the “take heart” in particular that I, well, took to heart.
    I have heard the saying and the verse before, but never really thought too much about what the phrase meant, beyond something akin to “cheer up.” But today I found myself reflecting on the words more – what does it really mean to “take heart?” It’s a bit of a strange expression really. How does one take a heart, and why? No sooner had these questions come to mind than I felt the gentle whisper of Jesus saying, “Take Mine.” At times, this is the only way we can “take heart,” for “cheer up” is often insufficient to comfort the soul and dispel fears and doubts. What we need, then, is more of a heart transplant of sorts. My heart may grow weary at times – and it does. But the heart of our Savior is perfect, unfailing, and ever focused on the Father. I want that heart, no matter what each day holds. And praise God, there is no waiting list for this procedure. He waits patiently and endlessly to perform this delicate and needful act. So take heart today. Take His.”

    Being so far away physically I may not be able to be His hands and feet, but I can be His heart. And that heart is praying peace, comfort, trust over you and yours…

  10. The hospital waiting room has to be my least favorite place on the planet. Spent too much time in many different waiting rooms the last two years of my mother’s life. And time stood still in the one I waited in while my son had open heart surgery. I don’t know what I would have done without knowing that there was a multitude of people praying for me during those times.

    Just remember to take care of yourself, too. Try to intersperse a water or two between those Cokes.

    And count me and my family as a part of the multitude praying today.

  11. Amy, I’m praying and praying and praying and praying. I won’t stop.

  12. Bearing it with you, as much as I can. And surrendering it all to God with expectant hope and faith.

  13. Thinking of you and praying!

  14. Suzanne

    God bless your and your family.

  15. Praying for your Daddy and for the doctors with him. Praying for you and your wait in the meat locker. Praying for His will and for strength for your family. Our hearts are with you!

  16. Angie

    I hope you remember me from high school. Anyway wanted to let you know I am praying for you and your family. I know how hard this is as my dad was diagnosed with cancer about a year and half ago. By God’s wonderful grace he is cancer free today and about to have his final scan for the oncologist. I am praying this will also be true for your dad, put all trust in Him!

  17. I’ve been praying all day for y’all. Called Dad and let him know too.
    Hope you get some good rest tonight…

  18. Still thinking about you and lifting you up today.

  19. Deb

    I haven’t forgotten about you, sweet friend.

    Or your dad.


    Sweet dreams.

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