1. Is anyone else bothered by the name of the show “America’s Got Talent”? Why couldn’t they name it “America HAS Talent”? I had the same problem back in my AOL days when that little guy announced “You’ve got mail.” No, I HAVE mail. If we can’t change the name, can we add to it? I suggest, “America’s Got Talent, Not Good Grammar.”
2. If I were the child in this family instead of one of the grown-ups, I would wait until the grown-ups were right on the edge of falling asleep. You know the feeling I’m talking about, right? That magical place between awake and asleep where you’re very sensitive to sound and light? Yeah, right at that moment, I’d run full speed down the hall, throw open the door like the house is on fire, slam on the overhead light and announce in my outside voice that my leg hurts and I can’t sleep and I heard something in the hall that sounded like people whispering and laughing and like this, “Chert, chert, chert.” Seriously, Firstborn? First of all, for a boy with a hurting leg, you sure were making good time streaking through the hall just now. Second of all, I can’t make counting lists while I’m in cardiac arrest and my eyes are trying to adjust to the light of a thousand suns. To summarize, we’re having sleep issues around here lately.
3. I just tried a new cobbler recipe. It’s cooling on the stove right now so I’m not going to share the recipe with you in case it tastes like mud. It smells good. I bought some Homemade Vanilla Bluebell ice cream to go with it, so if the cobbler’s not good, the dessert won’t be a total waste. Oh, Bluebell, how I’ve missed you. Unfortunately, I STILL haven’t made it to Sonic. I hope to rectify that situation this weekend.
4. Speaking of being back in the South in the land of Bluebell, Sonic, and Chick-fil-A, yesterday I went to the local health food store to buy ear candles….yeah, that’s probably another item for the list, possibly another blog post. Anyway, I also bought some Blue Sky root beer because Meredith said it was very tasty. I ended up having a conversation with the lady who was ringing up my purchases. This lady had recently moved here from Idaho and I told her that we had recently moved back here from Massachusetts. Somehow we ended up talking about how we wished that this area had a Trader Joe’s or a Whole Foods Market or even a decent grocery store. She let me in on the secret of why none of those wonderful things are available here. Lean in closer and I’ll tell you if you promise not to tell. She told me that the reason we can’t get good stuff like that here….is because….shhh…of the Baptists. I did not know that. ”
“Wow,” I said. “My dad’s been a Baptist minister for my entire life and I had no idea that we were against Trader Joe’s. It’s never come up in a business meeting.”
“Oh, that’s because here they have SOUTHERN Baptists. They’re very different from the Northern Baptists,” she informed me. Two things struck me about this conversation. First, the obvious. Baptists? Really? Second, she didn’t think I was from here. That’s weird. I sound more like here than where we lived. Whatever.
5. Our stuff gets here next Wednesday, thus beginning the end of the longest move in recorded history. I’m really thinking about seeing if we can get into the Guiness Book.
6. I have pictures and stories to share from the last few weeks but my computer is in a box and I’m hoping that by the time we’re all reconnected and wired in the new house that I won’t have forgotten the stories or the significance of the pictures. If so, I’ll just make something up that sounds like it would fit the pictures.
7. I hope you have a great weekend. Next week will be more craziness, but I hope to check in more regularly than I did when we were on the road. Until then, good night and Big Balls. (I hope you watch Wipeout.)