Well, I just barely made it in time to do 10 on the 10th! I spent most of the day in the kitchen: cleaning, sorting, organizing. I’m trying to work through one room at a time, getting ready for our upcoming move: the not-sure-when, still not-officially-sure-where moving adventure. (yay, adventure! sigh.)
I had originally planned to list random things that I wonder for no apparent reason. For example, I wonder if I should make a plan for if I’m ever in a coma that one of my best friends will be sure to tweeze my eyebrows so that they don’t run down and meet my eyelashes. And make sure I don’t get trailer trash roots. I mean, it’s important to look your best, even if you’re in a coma. Please don’t ask me why I’ve wondered if I should make these arrangements. I have no earthly idea why I think of the things I do. When I told K about my random list of wonderings he suggested this list instead.
So, tonight I proudly bring you:
Ten Funny Things My Sweet Kentucky-Native Mother-in-Law Says on a Regular Basis:
1. Ugly as a mud fence.
(I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a mud fence, but apparently they are not much to look at.)
2. Dumb as a bag of hammers.
3. Dumb as a box of rocks.
(I don’t know why hammers come in bags and rocks come in boxes.)
4. Dead as Julius Caesar.
(That would indeed be dead. Would it be more dead than Moses though?)
5. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
6. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
(I have no idea who Cooter Brown is/was.)
7. Katie, bar the door!
(As in “Watch out, here comes trouble!” It’s not a simile, but she says it a lot!)
8. Finer than frog hair.
(I was unaware that frogs had hair.)
9. Slick as a ribbon.
And my personal favorite:
10. As useless as hip pockets on a girdle.
So do any of your mothers-in-law speak in similes?
Speaking of similes, I’m as full as a tick. My husband and I had a date too night and I think this feeling I’m experiencing right this minute? It just might be gluttony. And I’m as tired as a….as a person who’s too tired to think of a witty simile, so I think I’ll close now. I hope you all have a restful night and wake up to a beautiful morning! For more 10 on the 10th, be sure to visit my friend Meredith at life@7000feet!