Family Secrets Revealed….#2: The One(s) About Alice

I’m going to let you in on another family secret today. This one involves family friends we had when I was younger.  I don’t really remember when my mom and Marilyn became friends, but once they did it was as if her family had always been part of my family. Marilyn had three teenaged daughters and I was about five or so years younger than the youngest daughter. Our families spent huge amounts of time together and I have very special and fun memories of that family.

The dad of the family makes the best homemade ice cream on the face of this earth. Even if he gave you the recipe, you’d never be able to make it like Jake can. He’s also deaf as a post. (I know that’s not much of a segue, but I thought I’d start off with a compliment before I just laid the ugly truth out there.) Jake truly is one of the nicest, funniest people you’d ever want to meet, but if you do get to meet him, he probably won’t understand a word you say. But he’ll repeat to you what he thought he heard you say. Which is never what you said. But it’s almost always funnier.

Let me give you an example. Once upon a time, Jake and Marilyn walked into our house and Dad was on the phone. Mom told them that Dad was talking to Kay Wharton (she was a member of our church). Jake’s response? “Game warden? Why in the world is he talking to the game warden?”

One of Jake’s misunderstandings is so legendary that it has taken on its own persona. I’m not exactly sure why this gaffe became such an integral part of our family fiber, but to this day, if you are around any of us for any length of time, you will almost certainly hear us utter this phrase. So now, as the late great Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story…

Jake and Marilyn were on their way to somewhere to do something and Mom and Dad weren’t going. As they were leaving, Mom jokingly said, “Don’t have fun without us.” Jake immediately asked, “Alice? Don’t have fun with Alice? Who’s Alice?” So even today, if you’re going to do something without one of us, we will almost always say, “Don’t have fun with Alice!”

There’s an addendum to the Alice story. Apparently Jake had Alice issues. Shortly after the “fun with Alice” incident someone said something about outer space. Jake said, “Alice’s face? What about Alice’s face?”

So, I’m off to do productive things. Today’s my first day back on the FlyLady wagon, you know. I’ll have to let you know about my first day back on track. I didn’t expect any of the rest of you to actually want to do this with the CPQ and myself, but I’m glad for those of you who are. But like I told Tiffani, this isn’t like the time I turned you on to Popcorn Crack so I don’t want any of you throwing timers or control journals or feather dusters at me later this week. You’ve been warned. Now go forth and FLY, but whatever you do, don’t have fun with Alice!



Filed under Family, Family Secrets

14 responses to “Family Secrets Revealed….#2: The One(s) About Alice

  1. You are funny!

    I’ll tell you the same thing I told CPQ…you were BORN to fly! And I’ll think about ya’ll when I shine my sink this morning. 🙂

    Hope you have a great Monday.

  2. I am sniffing, coughing and LAUGHING!! I LOVE a good story and especially one like that!!

    Indeed, I am hopping on the bandwagon w/ y’all…slowly but surely. Popcorn crack or not I promise to not get violent…

    Not exactly the same as your friend but JuJu likes to make up words and our fave is one she says when Connor is “going on” about something like “I got it and you didn’t” kinda thing…JuJu says “fine but don’t go ‘lollybragging’ about it!”

    SO, if you are successful in your flylady endeavors don’t go lollybragging about it, okay?! 😉

  3. carpoolqueen

    What have we done? The alarm went off at the CRACK OF DAWN, I tell you. But I’m shined, dressed, exercised, devotionaled, there’s nothing on my counters, and I found my tv remote under the couch cushion when I did my Mission of the Day (We’re on our way, the mission of the day — I love Little Einsteins.)

    This is a good start, Alice.

  4. Top o’ the morning to ya, Alice.

    Busy doings around here, baby. Last night I shined my sink.

    Today…why I think my arms might just fall off from all the flying…


  5. Thanks for that laugh. Alice’s face? Hilarious!

  6. Hope all your FLYing goes well….I was smiling down deep last night when I went to bed with a shiny sink!!

    Fun story, Alice!

  7. I’m back with a shiny sink and nothing else…but hey, that’s okay. Does CPQ think she’s gonna get an award for being “most successful flygirl”?? She is SOOOO lollybragging!! 🙂

    I so wish my first week of buzzing didn’t include a miserable clogged head….this too shall pass, Alice.

    I’m only kidding CPQ…I’m just jealous.

  8. Thanks for sharing the Jake-isms, they are so funny!

    The only thing that frightens me about them that i worry that someday I might be the “Jake” in this family. I can hear just fine and sometimes I do say odd things.

    Good Job on the Flylady madness. However, I am still a recovering over the Tim Horton crack falling on the heels of the Popcorn crack. So I am too busy chain drinking coffee and eating candy coated popcorn to mess with a dirty house!

  9. I have a similar story with “butt cake.”

    when I was a waitress, I offered a customer ‘fudge cake’ and she asked me, “what’s butt cake?”

    now, anytime we don’t understand someone, we say “what’s butt cake?”

    tee hee.

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  14. Those were great times. I really miss Jerry and Phylis. I talked to Ricky the other day. Trying to get a time to meet him for lunch.

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