Future In-Laws

All of my children’s marriages have been arranged. Yes, I realize that they are eight, five, and five years old, but I really can’t afford to procrastinate on this one. I really don’t think of myself as a control freak, but I do believe that some things are just too important to take a “wait and see” approach.

My oldest son will be married to his kindergarten teacher’s daughter, Anna Beth. This arrangement was Melissa’s idea, I think. She loves my son. Although she did send him home with a yellow slip on his first day of kindergarten. How in the world do you get a yellow slip on the first day of kindergarten?! All you have to do is show up, for crying out loud! He and his best friend Palmer were hitting each other with their lunchboxes. They weren’t fighting, just pummeling each other about the face with their lunchboxes. One of them dared the other and that’s where the craziness started.  Anyway, Melissa’s aforementioned daughter was in the same class. Melissa had to give Anna Beth and Oldest Boy yellow slips one day because they were spitting at each other. (Do you see the yellow slip theme running through Oldest Boy’s story? Did you know that during the two and a half months he attended Providence while we were home this year he received three yellow slips and one red slip a.k.a. a trip to the principal’s office? Are you understanding a new and specific way you can pray for his mother?) 

AB and Oldest Boy have a love-loathe relationship. They’re either picking on each other, defending each other, laughing with each other, or ignoring each other. Melissa and I have decided that Oldest Boy is the Gilbert Blythe to her Anne Shirley. He even called her “Anna Banana” one day, which caused her quite a bit of angst. Remember the “Carrots” chapter in Anne of Green Gables?!  On the standardized tests last year, AB had the highest score in the grade. Oldest Boy came in second, two points below her. Just like Anne and Gilbert! I’m telling you, this is meant to be. Plus, I really want Melissa in my family. She’s one of my dearest friends. She has the biggest marshmallow heart that overflows with hospitality and love. And she loves books and hot tea….It would be perfect!

Speaking of wonderful Melissa, she received a glowing endorsement from Princess Diva’s future husband, Luke. Luke had Melissa for his kindergarten teacher the year after AB and Oldest Boy did. Luke has the most amazing Southern drawl. He told his mom that, his teacher was “a genius. She has the hugest brain in the whole world.” Luke’s shy and blushes like Charlie Brown. How can you not love a boy who blushes like Charlie Brown, I ask you? I didn’t know his mom that well when I first told her that I planned on my daughter marrying her son. I think I may have frightened her. Since then, she has become a dear friend. She’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. She lost her dad to cancer a year ago and her four year-old son (Luke’s baby brother) was diagnosed with cancer last fall. Watching the grace and courage with which she has faced these trials, all the while, looking for opportunities to give God praise……..it’s been something to see. I can’t wait until we’re related.

Last but certainly not least is Ruby Jane. Ah, Ruby Jane. I have loved that little girl since my husband and I used to volunteer in the church nursery. She’s always had this spark that draws me close to her. She and the Princess Diva are best friends. Oh, the stories I could tell you about those two. Actually, I didn’t arrange this marriage, although I wholeheartedly endorse it. This idea was completely Ruby Jane’s. One fall day, shortly after Ruby Jane  turned three, her mom called me to say that RJ had just informed her that she was marrying my Baby Boy in January. And she has not wavered from that decision. Well, there was a period of time after she’d witnessed Baby Boy having a lose-his-religion screaming mimi fit. I asked her if she was sure if she wanted to marry him and she said she needed to think about it. A couple of weeks later, she told her mom that the wedding was back on.

A few weeks ago, the kids were staying at Ruby Jane’s house while I was at the hospital with Mom and Dad. Baby Boy had been a little hesitant about going over that morning, which is weird because he LOVES going to Ruby Jane’s house. He loves her family. On the car on the way over, he said, “Mom, I don’t want to get married.” I assured him that since he was only five, he really had some time to work out his feelings on that subject. But out of curiosity, I asked him why not. He told me that if you get married you have to have kids and babies are too much work. At that point, the Princess Diva piped in to tell him that the mom could do all that work. At that point, I realized that we have more than his issues to resolve.

When I went to pick the kids up that afternoon, Tanya, Ruby Jane’s mom, told me that she heard Ruby Jane tell Baby Boy, “When you grow up, you’re going to get on your hands and knees with a ring in your mouth and ask me to marry you.” And on the way home, Princess Diva told him, “I don’t care what you say. You ARE marrying Ruby Jane so we can be sisters.”  No wonder the poor child was afraid to go over there that morning! 

Ruby Jane’s parents are two of my best friends on the planet. I can’t wait until we’re all vacationing together and doing holidays together. It’s going to be so much fun! If you have kids, I’m telling you, you need to start planning. If you pick friends for in-laws, you can do holidays together without taking turns with people you may not even know! Just think about it.

By the way, I’m in the process of putting all the fun recipes you guys sent me along with some of my own for the “take over” food blog post. I’ll let you know when it’s finished. I’m trying out a new recipe tonight that I might share if it gets rave reviews. I hope you enjoy the rest of your Friday and maybe we’ll see you this weekend!




Filed under Kids

3 responses to “Future In-Laws

  1. I most definitely have my kids betrothed already as well. It’s almost an unhealthy obsession. My friend Lydia and I have a theory that if every time we get together, we provide AG and Benjamin with loads of fun doing wonderfully exciting things, it will almost be like a Pavlov’s dogs scenario. When they see each other at age 20, the adrenaline will rise and sparks will fly… right???

  2. carpoolqueen

    At this point I’m just praying anyone will take mine.

  3. I’ve arranged all of my children’s marriages too…

    How fun would it be if one of them really worked out!?!

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