I miss this little blog. I was really beginning to enjoy writing about everyday life stuff. My life just isn’t very “everyday” right now. I can honestly say that this is the most horrific experience of my life. And yet I daily see God’s hand all over it and I know that although I do NOT understand Him, I can’t help but trust Him.

I just wish I could hang out here and write about song lyrics and funny stuff the kids say and random silly notions that don’t really amount to much. But I’m spending what little creative energy that I have as the family spokesperson for my Dad’s CaringBridge site. What a horrible, wonderful website! I could use those same adjectives to describe a lot of things these days. I think Job may not have meant what I’m feeling when he said, “The Lord gave and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord,” but that certainly sums up what I am feeling.  Besides, right now every waking minute is consumed by my concern for my dad and with trying to “do this right” so that we will be found faithful. And that we will all be refined through this fire and come out pure on the other side. And clinging desperately to the Hope that God will heal my dad. Desperation is not a pretty place to be, but I am coming into a new understanding of just what total reliance on Him may look like. I am so very desperate.

Speaking of Job, this post gives me pause now.

Anyway, I miss the Snoodlings. I miss normal, whatever that was. I just seem to be missing a lot of things tonight. And that’s about all I can say right now.


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2 responses to “Missing

  1. I’m glad you popped in to say hello!

    I’ve been praying for your dad…sounds like he’s having a rough week. My dad finishes round one of chemo/radiation on Friday, but he isn’t feeling very well at all. When I pray for him, I pray for your dad (and you, Amy).

    Hang in there.


  2. carpoolqueen

    I wouldn’t worry about “doing it right.” I think in circumstances such as these, just “doing” is the most that can be expected. He knows your heart.

    Love you. Oh so very much.


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