Monthly Archives: January 2009

The day God healed the minivan…

God healed my minivan today. I kid you not.

Last week, or last month, or last year, it’s hard to say because time isn’t behaving properly of late and I can’t exactly remember when things happened, but some time since we’ve been home, the left-side passenger door of the minivan quit working. It’s one of those motorized doors that you aren’t supposed to force open because that can damage the motor. I pulled the owner’s manual out of the glove compartment, found the fuses that controlled the door, and hoped with all my hope that one of the fuses was blown so I could replace it and get on with my life. No such luck.

So, I figured, this is just one more thing on my list. Just one more little irritating snippet of life to heap on my pile. To be perfectly honest, I inwardly pitched a fit. Do you know how to do that? It involves a lot of teeth gritting and fist clinching. I threw myself a little pity party and fussed at God. My inner monologue went something like, “Seriously, God? Seriously? Don’t we get a bye on the day-to-day stuff? You are aware that my dad had a tumor, right? Is there no one else you can give car worries to for awhile? While you’re at it, I’d like a pass on kids whining, spouse miscommunications, and laundry, please. My plate is full.”

And then I realized I seem to do better with the big stuff than the little stuff. I’m leaning not on my own understanding when it comes to the plan God has for my dad and my family. But I can lose my religion in a heartbeat over not being able to find a pair of school uniform pants in Firstborn’s size. Do I somehow think that the “trust” and “rest” verses only apply to life-altering events?

So I acknowledged and moved on. I put the van on my list of Things to Take Care of When I Got a Chance and just daily reminded the kids not to try to open the door on that side of the van. It was inconvenient to reach over to the other side of the van to buckle kids in, but we’ve survived and no one’s died as a result of not being able to open that door.

So today, for some reason I can’t explain, I decided to try to open the sick door. And it opened. And closed. And opened and closed and opened and closed….God healed my van door!! You may know some mechanical explanation for why the door works now when it hasn’t before. I’m not interested. Even if you’re right, I think God had something everything (first time I’ve had a chance to use the delete feature! Fun!) with it. And I believe with all my heart that God wanted to use that door to show me that even the little stuff matters to him.

So what if my door doesn’t work tomorrow? Does that mean my door was never healed? Does it mean God’s not God? Nope. I’ll still be thankful that it worked today. And I’ll be grateful for a God who looks for ways to be on my side and who cares about the things that matter to me.

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This blog is brought to you by Letter P….

Ah, little Snoodlings blog, I’ve missed you! I’ve been the official narrator for my dad’s CaringBridge site and have been a little busy helping out around the house, so I haven’t had an opportunity to pay much attention to this, my guilty pleasure blog.

I think last week some time Meredith did a little blog meme (that is a weird word to me and doesn’t seem to match its definition, but I digress) listing ten things you love that start with an assigned letter. She assigned me the letter “P.” So now, because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything, I present to you “Things I Love That Start With the Letter ‘P’.”

1. Pepper…..I especially love ground pepper. If I could only choose one, I’d pick pepper over salt. Have you ever tried Orville Redenbacher’s Natural Buttery Salt and Cracked Pepper Popcorn? You should. It’s good. And it has TWO P’s for the price of one (pepper and popcorn). (I was going to include cute little pictures for each item on the list, but I don’t have the time or energy this morning. It will be good for you to picture them in your mind..Use those imaginations, people!)

2. Pink….I love the color pink! I like softer pinks better than hot pinks. I like pink and brown, but I especially love pink and green! 😉

3. Providence Classical Academy…..My oldest son attended this school his kindergarten and first grade years. During his first grade year, I taught part-time at the school. PCA is an amazing classical school and I could write volumes on how much this school and its staff mean to me. I won’t, but I will say this: When we moved to the Northeast this summer, we made new friends, found a wonderful church, but we did not find another Providence. I know I’m biased, because I count the teachers among my very best friends in life, but even if they weren’t, I could say without hesitation that Bossier is so blessed to have Providence and I can’t wait to see how God is going to use this school to further His kingdom. The day Dad has his surgery, the headmaster graciously invited my firstborn to come back to school for as long as we needed. He’s back with his friends in a loving environment receiving a top-quality education taught completely from a biblical worldview. Wow. If you live within driving distance of this school and have school-aged children, do yourself a favor and do a little research. It may change your life.

4. Pencils…. When given the choice between a pencil and a pen, I’ll usually choose the pencil. Probably because I’m indecisive and like having the opportunity to erase when I change my mind. I love “Back to School” time when all of the stores bring out the school supply displays. I love school supplies. I love sharpened pencils with good erasers. I also love mechanical pencils. I like dark lead pencils better than the kind that writes more faintly. I love the smell of pencils being sharpened. Yeah, I love pencils.

5. Pictures…I love photographs. I especially enjoy the more candid shots. I like looking at photographers’ blogs and am so impressed by their creativity. I’ve already told you about my favorite picture, taken by my friend Kristin. My only complaint about her work is that I can never choose which prints to buy because all of them are great! She has such a gift! I have two more photographer friends, Monica and Lori that I’m eager to have photograph my little people. Lori’s business is taking off like crazy. I’ve seen her work on her blog and she’s very good…and I’m very proud of her. If you live in Arkansas, you need to call her! Monica needs a website so I can link her! 😉

6. The Police….I have a list of people/groups I would love to see in concert. I was finally able to check one off my list a couple of summers ago when I saw The Police live in Houston. It was a beautiful thing, let me tell you. I still remember the first time I heard a Police song at Alison Ebert’s house. I think it was “Don’t Stand So Close to Me.” I also remember watching a Police concert video at her house. How can you not be a fan of a group that references “Scylla and Charybdis” or Nabakov in its lyrics? You’ve got to love a lead singer who used to an English teacher, right? And Stewart Copeland? Now that’s a drummer!

7. Phyllis…She’s my mom. ‘Nuff said.

8. Peanut butter…It rocks. I like it in sandwiches, in cookies, in pies, in cakes, in milkshakes, in crackers, on vanilla ice cream, on apples, on bananas. Sometimes when I’m hungry for something but I don’t know what it is, I eat a big heaping spoon of peanut butter and it almost always hits the spot.

9. Pillows…Not just any pillow. In a pinch, I can sleep on anything. I’m not too good to rough it. However, if I am allowed to have my way, I can be a little bit of a pillow snob. I do NOT like flimsy pillows. You know what I’m talking about, right? I want soft and fluffy and overstuffed but not hard.

10. Psalms, Purpose, Plan, Purpose, Possible….Do you ever take for granted what a treasure we have in God’s Word? I know I do. It’s times like the one my family is experiencing that remind me of the comfort, the wisdom, the strength, the sustenance I find in God’s Word. When I was thinking of “P” words, “Psalm” popped into my head. I remembered an Amy Grant concert I went to back in the day. It was so long ago that Michael W. Smith was Amy’s keyboard player. At one point in the concert, he was the only one on stage and he recited Psalm 139 from memory. For the first time I heard the poetry of the Psalms and the experience of his recitation is a beautiful picture in my head that I like to revisit on a regular basis. I chose Purpose and Plan because I am greatly encouraged and lean on the promise that God has a purpose and plan for each day of our lives. Nothing catches Him by surprise. Nothing touches us that doesn’t pass through His hands with His approval first. And Possible? Well, now more than ever in my life, I love that not only is nothing impossible with God, but with God anything is possible. I love the possibilities.

I’m at ten already? What about plumeria, peonies, and pansies? Soft pretzels with mustard? People with Personality? Princesses? Periwinkle (I love the color AND the word AND the flower!)? Pasta and pizza? Pollyanna? Psychology? The Pevensie family from THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA? PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, which introduced me to one of my very favorite authors, Jane Austen? And Good Grief, Charlie Brown, how in the world could I leave out one of my favorite things in life, the PEANUTS comic strip? And Peppermint Crisps, my very favorite candy bar that can only be found in South Africa? And the Peas from Veggie Tales? And piano players? And pastries? And, PLEASE just hit PUBLISH and POST this PUPPY!

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Missing

I miss this little blog. I was really beginning to enjoy writing about everyday life stuff. My life just isn’t very “everyday” right now. I can honestly say that this is the most horrific experience of my life. And yet I daily see God’s hand all over it and I know that although I do NOT understand Him, I can’t help but trust Him.

I just wish I could hang out here and write about song lyrics and funny stuff the kids say and random silly notions that don’t really amount to much. But I’m spending what little creative energy that I have as the family spokesperson for my Dad’s CaringBridge site. What a horrible, wonderful website! I could use those same adjectives to describe a lot of things these days. I think Job may not have meant what I’m feeling when he said, “The Lord gave and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord,” but that certainly sums up what I am feeling.  Besides, right now every waking minute is consumed by my concern for my dad and with trying to “do this right” so that we will be found faithful. And that we will all be refined through this fire and come out pure on the other side. And clinging desperately to the Hope that God will heal my dad. Desperation is not a pretty place to be, but I am coming into a new understanding of just what total reliance on Him may look like. I am so very desperate.

Speaking of Job, this post gives me pause now.

Anyway, I miss the Snoodlings. I miss normal, whatever that was. I just seem to be missing a lot of things tonight. And that’s about all I can say right now.

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